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Conflicts - Fiction, Humorous Fiction
Fortune's Bastard by Robert Chalmers β€” book cover

Fortune's Bastard

by Robert Chalmers
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Overview

Fortune's Bastard is the story of how a bad man loses everything, and in the process becomes good. When Edward Miller, tabloid editor and reactionary alpha male, spontaneously seduces his temp, his many enemies make sure the news reaches his cold beautiful wife - who leaves and cuckolds him. Miller heads for a London media hangout, where he meets cocaine. By morning, his exploits are public, his career is over, and his house is on fire. Clearly, it's time to leave town. After a brief stint teaching English in Spain, Miller winds up in a Florida town full of dwarves, fat ladies, lizard women and a one-eyed albino man, all presided over by the Half Man, a criminal and sadist with no legs. Despite everything it seems that life among the freaks will unwittingly teach Miller what normal life never could - how to love, and how love is worth risking everything for.

Synopsis

After his highly popular Who's Who in Hell, Robert Chalmers delivers his second novel, a painfully funny story of disaster and redemption that recalls Katherine Dunn's Geek Love.
One morning Edward Miller, tabloid newspaper editor and reactionary alpha male, spontaneously seduces his temp in an office storeroom. The news doesn't take long to reach his cold, beautiful wife-and it just happens to be their anniversary. By morning, his marriage is over, his career in shambles, and his house is on fire. Clearly, it's time to leave town.
After a brief stint in Spain as an English teacher, Miller flees again when his cover is blown, winding up in a Florida town populated by carnies and circus freaks and ruled with an iron fist by the Half Man, a criminal and sadist with no legs. Unexpectedly, despite even a one-eyed albino hit man who seems to overhear every compromising conversation between Miller and the Half Man's wife the Lizard Woman, Miller gradually realizes this may be where he belongs.
A brilliant ensemble black comedy and a touching statement on the redemptive power of love, Fortune's Bastard confirms Robert Chalmers as one of Britain's freshest and wittiest new voices.

Publishers Weekly

A much-loathed London tabloid editor and philandering father of one gets his comeuppance in British author Chalmers's (Who's Who in Hell) devilishly indulgent, surrealistic second novel. Arrogant Edward Miller has employees who decorate his back with airmail stickers and a wife who announces her own infidelity and dumps him at their anniversary dinner. Soothing his bruised ego at a West End club, Edward is offered cocaine, and indulges in a night wild enough to get his photograph plastered in the newspapers the following day; news that his house has burned down comes as the last straw. He shaves his head and runs off to teach English in Barcelona, but is forced to flee again when he's spotted his wife, Elizabeth, wants to finalize a divorce settlement and there's a warrant for his arrest on arson charges moving on to Plant City, Fla., a town populated with stock carnival freaks and governed by sadistic, legless boss Vincent ("Half-Man") Makin, who holds him hostage at a trailer park. With inside help, Edward plots Vincent's murder just as his past life resurfaces in a surprise showdown. It's the circus freaks who prove to be the most fun (and who teach Edward some much-needed lessons), though this wacky ride is piloted by a strong central character witty and captivating enough to make for plenty of sinfully rich reading. Agent, Melanie Jackson. (Sept.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

About the Author, Robert Chalmers

Robert Chalmers lives in London and writes for British GQ and The Independent.

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Editorials

Publishers Weekly

A much-loathed London tabloid editor and philandering father of one gets his comeuppance in British author Chalmers's (Who's Who in Hell) devilishly indulgent, surrealistic second novel. Arrogant Edward Miller has employees who decorate his back with airmail stickers and a wife who announces her own infidelity and dumps him at their anniversary dinner. Soothing his bruised ego at a West End club, Edward is offered cocaine, and indulges in a night wild enough to get his photograph plastered in the newspapers the following day; news that his house has burned down comes as the last straw. He shaves his head and runs off to teach English in Barcelona, but is forced to flee again when he's spotted his wife, Elizabeth, wants to finalize a divorce settlement and there's a warrant for his arrest on arson charges moving on to Plant City, Fla., a town populated with stock carnival freaks and governed by sadistic, legless boss Vincent ("Half-Man") Makin, who holds him hostage at a trailer park. With inside help, Edward plots Vincent's murder just as his past life resurfaces in a surprise showdown. It's the circus freaks who prove to be the most fun (and who teach Edward some much-needed lessons), though this wacky ride is piloted by a strong central character witty and captivating enough to make for plenty of sinfully rich reading. Agent, Melanie Jackson. (Sept.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

It wouldn't seem that things could get any worse for Edward Miller, a rich and powerful tabloid newspaper editor, whose life begins to spiral out of control when an early morning quickie with his personal assistant in a supply closet becomes the talk of the town. His bad day continues when his wife informs him at their tenth anniversary dinner that she's leaving him for their neighbor and ends in a self-destructive rampage caught on film by a rival tabloid. Miller is soon on the lam from his murderous father-in-law and the authorities after he vandalizes his neighbor's Mercedes and accidentally burns down his own house. He first flees to Barcelona, where he lands a job teaching English for minimum wage at a dodgy language school, before being caught in a Florida backwater that is a refuge for every variety of human oddity. As the narrative has few pauses and no chapter breaks, the reader will careen along on an electrifying and hilarious ride. Highly recommended. Barbara Love, Kingston Frontenac P.L., Ont. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

A newspaper editor loathed by most people in the civilized world gets his comeuppance. Second-novelist Chalmers (Who's Who in Hell, 2002) isn't so much interested this time around with the ink-stained wretches of Fleet Street but instead starts at the top-before taking a nosedive into the real world. Edward Miller runs a London tabloid of the sort owned by Rupert Murdoch, a paper regularly taking swipes at immigrants and gays when not providing salacious details about celebrities and politicians. A self-satisfied fat cat, penny-pinching hypocrite, and serial philanderer, Ed starts off a workday-his wedding anniversary, actually-with a quickie in the office storeroom, and things go quickly downhill from there. By the next morning, Ed will be alone in his house (his wife off shagging the next-door neighbor), dressed only in a urine-soaked towel, doing lines of cocaine while an inquisitive reporter from a rival-liberal-paper asks him about his racial attitudes and why he spray-painted "WANNKER" [sic] on his neighbor's car. With the press, police, and lawyers closing in, Ed shaves his head and, on the advice of an old schoolmate (who oddly doesn't hate him), jets off to Barcelona to work as an instructor for an ESL school that regularly hires educated drifters, no questions asked. For a time, Chalmers seems to have tapped into a real goldmine with his cast of disaffected expats, all on the run from something they'd rather not talk about and slowly bonding with this odd newcomer, who looks nothing like the incriminating photos still splashed all over the papers. But author Chalmers, perhaps not realizing what a good thing he has going and wishing to punish Ed further, sends him on the runagain, straight into a rather painful subplot at a Florida freakshow. Things wrap up quite nicely, even if the final fourth is a bit of a waste. Wry and pitch-black send-up of media hubris. Agent: Melanie Jackson/Melanie Jackson Agency

Book Details

Published
September 1, 2004
Publisher
Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
Pages
304
Format
Paperback
ISBN
9780802141606

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