Been There, Haven't Done That : A Virgin's Memoir

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly

In the beginning of this ode to virginity, McCarthy declares: "I'm 25 years old and I'm a virgin. At least by popular standards." And with that she takes us on a dizzying odyssey of her "unpenetrated state" that begins with her Irish-Catholic childhood on Staten Island, her religious teacher nicknamed Sister "Rambo" "I am sixty-eight years old and I am a virgin!", and finally her college days at Harvard. What begins as a lighthearted romp turns into refrains of the same sad song over and over: Girl meets boy, girl doesn't sleep with boy, girl loses boyto numbing effect. McCarthy reveals that she may be a virgin, but she is well aware of different kinds of sensual stimulation, both oral and manual. She asks: What is sex? and gives us myriad responses that would have stunned Nietzsche as she protects her virginity, practically turning it into a neurotic obsession. McCarthy, who writes for Ireland's Hot Press and has contributed to Seventeen, has basically taken a magazine piece and stretched it to book length. This book may be hailed by virgins, while others will take the Nike approach: Just do it. June FYI: Under the terms of her book contract, McCarthy, who is now 26, must remain "virginal in mind, body, and spirit" until pub date, otherwise she surrenders her advance.

Library Journal

McCarthy, a 26-year-old music journalist with Ireland's Hot Press, attempts to articulate reasons for keeping her virtue intacte.g., disease though no mention is made that one can contract some STDs without intercourse, religion, moralitythat are either incorporated into a vague and unconvincing rationalization or ultimately dismissed. McCarthy recounts an uneventful personal history, recapitulating innumerable dates, relationships, and one-night stands, some with graphic scenarios of what many folks consider sex acts, with the exception of intercourse. McCarthy's trysts are not very interesting, however one defines the deed. A good editor might have polished the undistinguished writing and cut pointless repeated allusions to the author's attendance at Harvard and her excessive profanity. Presumably her book was published because virginity in the 1990s is a "sexy" i.e., marketable topic. A young woman might be encouraged by McCarthy's self-confidence and sense of control, but the message is too mixed to inform. A smug and flippant tone does not help her case. Not recommended.Janice E. Braun, Mills Coll., Oakland

Kirkus Reviews

Imagine going back to college as an adult and reliving those nightlong conversations about relationships, guys, and "doing it." Sounds pretty awful, doesn't it?

Now imagine doing the same thing, only this time you're subjected to a monologue by the most insufferably smug and egotistical girl in your class. And worse still, this self-appointed expert in puerile love is a virgin—and proud of the fact—at the ripe old age of 25. What you have then is Tara McCarthy's memoir of life in the slow lane. McCarthy, a columnist for a Rolling Stonelike Irish magazine, hastens to assure her readers that, although she has never actually consummated a physical relationship, she is no prude (heaven forbid!). She likes men and kissing, and of course she's had plenty of opportunities to have sex (she'll tell you about them all with no prodding), because she's very attractive. And did she mention that she graduated Harvard with a high GPA? Although it may seem like a strange criticism, the only thing that marks McCarthy as a virgin is the fact that she hasn't experienced sexual intercourse. Her decision not to have sex stems from a pretty ordinary Catholic upbringing, and while she often questions her choices, she never tackles the issues with any profundity, such as her lack of moral qualms about engaging in heavy petting, or the deeper social and religious implications of premarital intercourse.

Instead, she seems more than satisfied with self-indulgent prating and cataloguing her loves, teasing almost-dones, and other standards of young adult fare.