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Contemporary Romance, Arts & Entertainment - Fiction
Dear Catastrophe Waitress by Brendan Halpin — book cover

Dear Catastrophe Waitress

by Brendan Halpin
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Overview

Mark thinks he has found The One in college. When Raquel abruptly takes off for Los Angeles to become a rock star, Mark tries to be happy for her–until ROCK-L’s first single sweeps the airwaves–a song about Mark’s stamina entitled “Two Minute Man.” And Mark’s life is never the same again.

Philippa doesn’t really think twice about cheating on her punk rocker boyfriend, Trevor. After all, she’s going to break up with him anyway. He mooches off her, treats her badly, and writes stupid songs about her breasts. Then Trevor’s band makes a splash with its one and only song sensation, “Philippa Cheats.” And suddenly Philippa is the most infamous ex-girlfriend in all of London.

Thus Philippa and Mark find themselves adrift, both single and living in Boston, still reeling from the impact that three minutes of music had on their lives. When these two minor-key souls meet and form a major chord, they will have to overcome the sneaking suspicion that each will betray the other . . . possibly with a song.

“Brendan Halpin adds weight to his funny moments and lightness to his sad ones . . . [reminding] us that comedy and tragedy aren’t opposites at all.”
–Carolyn Parkhurst, author of The Dogs of Babel, on Donorboy

“The author’s greatest gift: his pitch-perfect ear for dialogue.”
People, on Long Way Back

Synopsis

Mark thinks he has found The One in college. When Raquel abruptly takes off for Los Angeles to become a rock star, Mark tries to be happy for her–until ROCK-L’s first single sweeps the airwaves–a song about Mark’s stamina entitled “Two Minute Man.” And Mark’s life is never the same again.

Philippa doesn’t really think twice about cheating on her punk rocker boyfriend, Trevor. After all, she’s going to break up with him anyway. He mooches off her, treats her badly, and writes stupid songs about her breasts. Then Trevor’s band makes a splash with its one and only song sensation, “Philippa Cheats.” And suddenly Philippa is the most infamous ex-girlfriend in all of London.

Thus Philippa and Mark find themselves adrift, both single and living in Boston, still reeling from the impact that three minutes of music had on their lives. When these two minor-key souls meet and form a major chord, they will have to overcome the sneaking suspicion that each will betray the other . . . possibly with a song.

“Brendan Halpin adds weight to his funny moments and lightness to his sad ones . . . [reminding] us that comedy and tragedy aren’t opposites at all.”
–Carolyn Parkhurst, author of The Dogs of Babel, on Donorboy

“The author’s greatest gift: his pitch-perfect ear for dialogue.”
People, on Long Way Back

Publishers Weekly

Vindictive songs change the course of two people's lives in Halpin's third novel (after Long Way Back), a funny and unlikely story about mending broken hearts. Philippa Strange, a fresh-out-of-high-school punk rock girl, divides her time between an alcoholic mother in Cincinnati and a rocker boyfriend in London and becomes unfortunately notorious after her boyfriend immortalizes her cheating ways-and her name-in a popular song. Meanwhile, shortly after Mark Norris finishes college in Philadelphia, he finds himself the victim of "premature ejaculation libel" when his ex-girlfriend cracks the Top 40 with her hit song, "Two Minute Man." Mark stumbles his way though toxic relationships as a pregnant Philippa, back in the States for good, fakes her death and assumes a new identity to escape from a violent boyfriend. Oddly, Mark's bumbling early adulthood is more engaging to read about than Philippa's flight, and though it's a given that the two will end up together, Halpin's assured prose and knack for mischievously comic turns ensure a smooth ride into happily ever after. (Mar. 13) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

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Editorials

Publishers Weekly

Vindictive songs change the course of two people's lives in Halpin's third novel (after Long Way Back), a funny and unlikely story about mending broken hearts. Philippa Strange, a fresh-out-of-high-school punk rock girl, divides her time between an alcoholic mother in Cincinnati and a rocker boyfriend in London and becomes unfortunately notorious after her boyfriend immortalizes her cheating ways-and her name-in a popular song. Meanwhile, shortly after Mark Norris finishes college in Philadelphia, he finds himself the victim of "premature ejaculation libel" when his ex-girlfriend cracks the Top 40 with her hit song, "Two Minute Man." Mark stumbles his way though toxic relationships as a pregnant Philippa, back in the States for good, fakes her death and assumes a new identity to escape from a violent boyfriend. Oddly, Mark's bumbling early adulthood is more engaging to read about than Philippa's flight, and though it's a given that the two will end up together, Halpin's assured prose and knack for mischievously comic turns ensure a smooth ride into happily ever after. (Mar. 13) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

Maybe rock-'n'-roll will never die, but the two love-scorned exes in this romantic comedy certainly wish it would. Philippa graduates from her Cincinnati prep school without a backward glance. She leaves her classmates and her divorced, alcoholic mother for London, where she lives rent-free in her father's plush apartment. Nightly, she and boyfriend Trevor, lead guitarist for NHS (National Hate Service), troll the pubs and explore the local music scene on her father's dime. But when Trevor catches Philippa cheating on him, his revenge is swift: He writes a one-hit wonder, "Philippa Cheats," and the song's success drives her back home. Meanwhile, Mark, still grieving over the death of his little sister, who was hit by a truck, meets Raquel, whose mother committed suicide. The two share solace and love through their college years until Rock-L, as she refers to herself once she leaves Mark for the California music scene, makes it big with a hit single called "Two Minute Man," about her ex-boyfriend's shortcomings. Hailed as a feminist cri de coeur, the song wounds Mark profoundly. Back to Philippa, waitressing in Cincinnati and using cocaine. This leads to years of ill-chosen boyfriends, the last of whom threatens her life if she leaves him, which she promptly does, under an assumed identity and secretly pregnant. Over to Mark, who establishes himself in Boston, where he spends his days teaching first-graders, and long nights wondering if he'll ever have sex again. Told in alternating chapters, the novel tracks the two break-up victims as they assuage their public humiliation and learn to love again. Halpin (Donorboy, 2004, etc.) writes sweetly about young men and women trying to carve out adecent life in contemporary times, but this novel leans too heavily on summary to cover the 20 years it takes to bring the two unwitting muses together. A lukewarm affair. Agent: Douglas Stewart/Sterling Lord Literistic Inc.

Book Details

Published
March 1, 2007
Publisher
Random House Publishing Group
Pages
320
Format
Paperback
ISBN
9780812977028

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