Overview
When Salon.com published Faulkner Fox’s article on motherhood, “What I Learned from Losing My Mind,” the response was so overwhelming that Salon reran the piece twice. The experience made Faulkner realize that she was not alone—that the country is full of women who are anxious and conflicted about their roles as mothers and wives.
In Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life, her provocative, brutally honest, and often hilarious memoir of motherhood, Faulkner explores the causes of her unhappiness, as well as the societal and cultural forces that American mothers have to contend with. From the time of her first pregnancy, Faulkner found herself—and her body—scrutinized by doctors, friends, strangers, and, perhaps most of all, herself. In addition to the significant social pressures of raising the perfect child and being the perfect mom, Faulkner also found herself increasingly incensed by the unequal distribution of household labor and infuriated by the gender inequity in both her home and others’. And though she loves her children and her husband passionately, is thankful for her bountiful middle-class life, and feels wracked with guilt for being unhappy, she just can’t seem to experience the sense of satisfaction that she thought would come with the package. She’s finally got it all—the husband, the house, the kids, an interesting part-time job, even a few hours a week to write—so why does she feel so conflicted?
Faulkner sheds light on the fear, confusion, and isolation experienced by many new mothers, mapping the terrain of contemporary domesticity, marriage, and motherhood in a voice that is candid, irreverent, and deeply personal, while always chronicling the unparalleled joy she and other mothers take in their children.
Synopsis
When Salon.com published Faulkner Fox’s article on motherhood, “What I Learned from Losing My Mind,” the response was so overwhelming that Salon reran the piece twice. The experience made Faulkner realize that she was not alone—that the country is full of women who are anxious and conflicted about their roles as mothers and wives.
In Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life, her provocative, brutally honest, and often hilarious memoir of motherhood, Faulkner explores the causes of her unhappiness, as well as the societal and cultural forces that American mothers have to contend with. From the time of her first pregnancy, Faulkner found herself—and her body—scrutinized by doctors, friends, strangers, and, perhaps most of all, herself. In addition to the significant social pressures of raising the perfect child and being the perfect mom, Faulkner also found herself increasingly incensed by the unequal distribution of household labor and infuriated by the gender inequity in both her home and others’. And though she loves her children and her husband passionately, is thankful for her bountiful middle-class life, and feels wracked with guilt for being unhappy, she just can’t seem to experience the sense of satisfaction that she thought would come with the package. She’s finally got it all—the husband, the house, the kids, an interesting part-time job, even a few hours a week to write—so why does she feel so conflicted?
Faulkner sheds light on the fear, confusion, and isolation experienced by many new mothers, mapping the terrain of contemporary domesticity, marriage, and motherhood in a voice that is candid, irreverent, and deeply personal, while always chronicling the unparalleled joy she and other mothers take in their children.
Publishers Weekly
Forecast: Fox will go on a driving tour of North Carolina, where she now lives, which should stir up interest in her book. She's done poetry readings for a few years and could parlay that experience into successful book readings. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Editorials
Publishers Weekly
Forecast: Fox will go on a driving tour of North Carolina, where she now lives, which should stir up interest in her book. She's done poetry readings for a few years and could parlay that experience into successful book readings. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.Library Journal
In this memoir, which began as an essay on Salon.com, Fox chronicles her dissatisfaction with her admittedly na ve American dream come true. Although grateful for her upper-middle-class life, she is blindsided by the demands of motherhood and feels guilty. New mothers will identify with some of Fox's frustrations (e.g., the unequal distribution of housework), but many others will be equally frustrated by her whininess and child-rearing methods (e.g., she took her kids to a Druid ritual). But then, those mothers who work full time outside the home and conscientiously attend every school function will probably be too tired to read this book. Fox pursues teaching and writing while struggling to achieve domestic bliss, but options she takes for granted (like therapy) aren't available to everyone. Though well crafted in a stream-of-consciousness style, this book will likely polarize its potential audience. Its controversial nature, coupled with heavy media coverage, will spark demand.-Margaret Cardwell, Christian Brothers Univ. Lib., Memphis Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.A young feminist pulls no punches in her examination of motherhood. Fox (Creative Writing/Duke) candidly reveals her ambivalence, frustrations, and anger about the stresses imposed on women when they have children. Although she interviewed other young mothers, looking for confirmation that they shared her feelings, her personal story holds center stage here. (Indeed, Fox found many interviewees reluctant to admit their frustrations with maternity.) Her youthful vision of an uncluttered, stress-free life with a house, a man, and a child, she admits, was a fantasy. The reality, she learns, is that it’s not easy to combine selfhood with motherhood, to balance a writing career with childcare, or to achieve egalitarian parenthood. To explain to the reader where she’s coming from, Fox shows herself as a single woman: ambitious, edgy, fighting for liberal causes, looking to find a feminist prince. Once married to her prince, she discovers that pregnancy changes everything. Issues of control are real: How does one choose to be in control of birth and at the same time choose to avoid excruciating pain? (That the pain was real is left in no doubt as the author provides unnecessarily full details of both her home and hospital deliveries.) As a nursing mother, Fox finds that her husband’s parenting duties and hers are clearly out of balance. Keeping a record of time spent on a chart called "Frequent Parenting Miles," she tallies in quarter hours what she figures her spouse owes her. Collect she does, and in the process conducts a mild flirtation that leads the couple into therapy and eventually into a more equitable partnership. Fox also explores her attempts to connect with other women, a task shefinds far more difficult once husbands and children are part of all their lives. Her very honest account exudes relief at the chance to express her feelings and a measure of pride that she has faced some of motherhood’s inherent conflicts, if not entirely resolved them. Unconventional, challenging, sometimes even warm and funny. Agent: Christy Fletcher/Fletcher & Parry