Farm Fatale

Baltimore Sun

Every character here is deliciously ridiculous, and every rustic detail a grand satirical opportunity.

Publishers Weekly

As the old caveat goes: be careful what you wish for it might come true. Holden (Bad Heir Day) addresses what can possibly go wrong (and does) when one woman finally gets exactly what she wants in this energetic, witty tale. Rosie, an idealistic freelance illustrator, can hardly wait to leave her dingy London flat for a charming little cottage in the country. Mark, her live-in boyfriend, is less than enthusiastic about exchanging London's hustle and bustle for the bucolic life particularly when his "big break" at his thankless newspaper job seems just around the corner. But Mark's editor assigns him a new column based on the adventures of a "city mouse" in the country, and it looks like Rosie's dream has finally come true. Unfortunately, it's a nightmare. Their tiny cottage is just as "rural" and "historic" as it appears (complete with the attendant plumbing problems); loud hippie neighbors disturb their slumbers; and Rosie and Mark squabble over everything from gardening to the charms of the locals. However, the lovely old couple next door has a farmer nephew they're eager for Rosie to meet, and to her surprise, he turns out to be both young and cute. Toss in a reclusive pop star, a pushy second-rate actress and a gossipy postman, and decibel levels in the sleepy village of Eight Mile Bottom are soon rising to a decidedly unsleepy pitch. With enjoyable if limited characters and a wonderfully awful-to-watch side plot involving the truly horrible "Sasha Villiers" (her "stage" name), this lighthearted romp, surprisingly unpredictable, smart and fun, is refreshing fare readers can turn to when they're tired of lifeless Bridget clones. (Mar. 5) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

Sophisticated Londoners opt for country chic, in a third farce by Holden (Bad Heir Day, 2001, etc.). Children's book illustrator Rosie pines for a cozy home in the hills of rural England-but her live-in love, Mark, freelance author of puff pieces for a Sunday magazine, prefers the city. Filth is his friend, as he puts it, until the day he gets his own column: his editors want him to cover the latest moving-to-the-country trend! So he and Rosie buy a venerable cottage in the quaint village of Eight Mile Bottom-and wonder what they've done. Rosie is pleased with her new surroundings, but Mark is miserable. He loathes the nosy postman and the dotty couple Rosie befriends, not to mention the neo-hippies and their noisy brats next door. And he develops writer's block. Then a dreadful pair of social climbers from London buy a Jacobean manor nearby, much to Rosie's dismay. She's met financier Guy Grabster and his silicone-enhanced wife Samantha once before, and it was quite enough. Samantha, an over-the-hill actress with endless aspirations, cuts her cloth accordingly. Guy hates the country even more than Mark, but his wife knows that "crotchless lace is more persuasive than any amount of cold logic" and has talked him into paying for a fabulous fête so she can swan it for the locals, peasants and gentry alike. Mark attends, hoping to wangle a screenwriting assignment for Samantha's harebrained scheme of starring in a film bio of Charlotte Bronte. Rosie goes along and makes friends-very, very good friends-with a nice bloke who turns out to be a reclusive pop star recovering from the impact of worldwide fame and unimaginable wealth. Should shy Rosie choose him? Or is rough-hewn farmer Jackbetter? Or should she just stick with whiny, disagreeable Mark? Wickedly funny comedy of manners: oddballs, hilarious one-liners, and some very bad puns.