Psychology & Psychiatry, Emotions

Friendgrief: An Absence Called Presence

Name: Friendgrief: An Absence Called Presence
Author: Harold Ivan Smith
ISBN: 9780895032584

by Harold Ivan Smith

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Synopsis

Friends die. For some, friendgrief is an occasional intrusion; for others, it is a continual factor shaping the relational landscape. Some ten million Americans are annually impacted by the death of a friend. For many adults, the shaping losses of life have been or will be the deaths of friends, particularly as a result of war, civil unrest, or a tragedy. Many now wonder: Who in my circle of friends will die next? In a society that disenfranchises grief, how does an individual grieve thoroughly for a friend?

Historically, friends support the chief mourner and family members. Friends are told that their grief must not compete with or overshadow the grief of the family. But Harold Ivan Smith points out that the friends of many adults compose a family of investment. Friends are valued relationships. Nevertheless, the family first expectation motivates many friends to ignore their own grief and the needs of others in the friendorbit to concentrate on the needs of family members. Smith argues that friends may be so busy doing grief that they fail to honor their own grief.

This book not only examines friendgrief from a theoretical and clinical framework, but Smith offers fascinating vignettes from the lives of well-known friendgrievers such as Elton John, Diane Sawyer, Ralph Abernathy, C. S. Lewis, Harry Truman, Tommy Lasorda, Jimmy Carter, Fritz Mondale, Bill Clinton, Calvin Trillin, and Alan King. The author includes moving narratives of numerous individuals who have never gained notoriety but have become seasoned friendgrievers.

Harold Ivan Smith thinks it is time that friendgrief becomes healthy grief. He concludes: Your grief counts! Give your grief its voice.

Intended Audience: Bereaved persons, death educators, grief counselors, grief ministry, courses in death education, funeral directors, hospice workers, nurses, psychologists, social workers, clergy, self-help groups, as well as family and friends of the bereaved.