Reference - Psychology, Relationships - Interpersonal

How Could You Do This to Me?

Name: How Could You Do This to Me?
Author: Jane Greer
ISBN: 9780385490115

by Jane Greer

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Overview

At one time or another we have all been betrayed by someone we trusted, all felt the sting of deceit and subsequent shattering of self-confidence. And when the people we count on betray our trust, the wound is deep and long-lasting.

In How Could You Do This to Me?, Dr. Jane Greer teaches readers:the types of people who are more at risk of betrayal the warning signs of someone who is untrustworthy a process that helps decide whether a relationship is worth saving or whether it should be abandoned.Part One discusses the roots of trust, blind trust, and the reasons betrayers betray. Part Two reveals our betrayers' many faces: admirers, users, or rivals. Part Three focuses on the fallout from betrayal: confrontation, revenge, and betrayal, and talks about how you can learn to trust your judgment and others again.

About the Author, Jane Greer

Dr. Jane Greer is a nationally renowned marriage and family therapist, in private practice for more than twenty years. A former adjunct assistant professor at Adelphi University School of Social Work, Dr. Greer is also the coauthor of Adult Sibling Rivalry. Dr. Greer lectures across the country on marital, sexual, and family problems, as well as on women's and sibling issues. She is a frequent guest expert on numerous national TV programs and is often interviewed by publications such as USA Today, The New York Times, Ladies' Home Journal, and Redbook. Her practice is in Manhattan.

Margery D. Rosen is a veteran freelance writer and editor who specializes in relationship, family, and parenting issues. Her articles have won awards from the American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association. She lives in New York City.

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Editorials

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly

In a book directed at anyone who has ever felt betrayed, personally or professionally, New Jersey family therapist Greer and freelancer Rosen apply standard psychological theories to "the hundreds of trust decisions people make in their daily lives." Using vignettes from Greer's clinical practice and television shows, the authors cover many types of betrayal that extend beyond sexual infidelity. They cite trust as a value ranked high by most Americans; and, as this investigation demonstrates, there are ways to identify, prevent and recover from a breach of trust, as well as rebuild shattered self-confidence. Little here will be news to self-help devotees, but there are insightful passages on forgiveness-how to profess it and how to accept it-as well as a decalogue of positives for psychological health produced by men and women who have attended Greer's seminars. (Jan.)

Library Journal

According to licensed marriage and family therapist Greer (Adult Sibling Rivalry, Fawcett, 1993), trust is a basic human need essential for our existence. When someone who is expected to be there for you lets you down, the sense of betrayal is profound and devastating. Given the centrality and power of this need, it is surprising that although some of the world's most renowned theoreticians have tried to examine the intriguing nature of trust, no one until now has applied the psychological theories meaningfully to the hundreds of trust decisions people make in their daily lives. In Part 1, Greer discusses the roots of trust, blind trust, and the reasons betrayers betray. In the second part, she reveals the many faces of betrayal, i.e., rivals, admirers, and users. Finally, she focuses on the fallout from betrayal-revenge, confrontation, apology, and how to trust ourselves again. Writing in a clear, compassionate style, Greer uses personal narratives to illustrate the different situations in which people are betrayed. The first of its kind, this work is highly recommended for all public libraries.-David R. Johnson, Fayetteville P.L., Ark.