How Do We Tell the Children?

This classic, step-by-step guide to talking about death, separation, and loss with children and teens features timely new material on dealing with trauma, addressing violence in schools, and helping grandparents cope as caregivers.

Many children’s lives are touched by a serious illness within their families, and some will be faced with the loss of a parent or grandparent, or the death of a sibling or beloved pet. How can adults help young people cope with these losses? How do they explain and console in language that a child can understand?

Dr. Daniel Schaefer, working with child psychologists and trauma experts, and drawing on more than three decades of experience with families in crisis, has written a practical guide for anyone who works or lives with children—parents, caregivers, counselors, or teachers—for dealing with their inevitable questions about loss and change, life and death. He provides strategies to assist children with grief and trauma and offers time-tested advice and language that children can understand.

Now in its fourth edition, this classic guide includes an expanded quick-reference Crisis Section with conversation scripts and up-to-date resources including websites, publications, and support groups.

Publishers Weekly

Books tend to generate multiple editions when they have something truly valuable to say. This title is no exception. Schaeffer, a psychologist and former funeral home director, and New York City-based journalist Lyons lucidly and straightforwardly explain how to inform children about the realities of death. They explain what most children can easily understand, what they might need help understanding, and the importance of being up-front. This third edition includes new information on dealing with traumatic death, and while that would seem like a timely addition, the section doesn't fit in too well with the rest of the child-directed content; it includes subsections such as "The Impact of Grief on Business and Management," so the book seems to shift its focus to adults. Still, this is recommended for public libraries because of the valuable basic information it contains. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Daniel Schaefer, Ph.D., is a member of the guest faculty of the College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University, New York University, and Brooklyn College, among others. He lives in New York City.