How I Made It to Eighteen: A Mostly True Story

From the Publisher

“How I Made It To Eighteen depicts the raw honest truth of a breakdown, told with great girl irony, fierceness and heart. I loved it.”  — Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues  

“How I Made it to Eighteen is part hug, part armor for anyone who battles gray days. The clarity of Tracy White's voice and graphic style transforms an intensely realized experience with wit, courage and grace. Her story pulled me in and held me deep.”

—Adele Griffin, National Book Award finalist for Where I Want to Be

  

"White’s “mostly true story” begins when seventeen-year-old Stacy Black enters Golden Meadows Hospital in an attempt to feel like herself again—whoever that is. Ostensibly Stacy works toward her goal of being happy again, earning privileges at the hospital and even becoming close friends with another patient. But she moves both forward and backward in her recovery, clinging to an unhealthy relationship with Eric, offering advice she cannot take, and refusing to be open and honest about her thoughts and actions. 

"Stacy’s story of anxiety, abuse, self-harm, addiction, and depression, is also a story of an interesting, creative young woman and her friends, a veritable chorus that adds perspective and insight into Stacy’s struggles. White’s images are as intense and telling as the written text. Comparisons to Susanna Kaysen’s Girl, Interrupted (Random House, 1993) are unavoidable: both are stories of self-discovery, memoirs of the female authors' time in mental health facilities during their late adolescence. Both Kaysen’s and White’s stories are fascinating and frustrating. Most significantly, both memoirs stop short of offering easy solutions to complicated problems. White’s perspective is honest, often unflinchingly and quite unsympathetic to her adolescent self. Still it is made clear why Stacy is likeable and loyal. More honest than Cut (Front Street, 2000/VOYA February 2001), more intriguing even than Girl, Interrupted, White’s novel uses stark black-and-white imagery to construct her frank and honest story of a fraught adolescence." — VOYA Tracy White's "mostly true" graphic novel, How I Made It to Eighteen (Roaring Brook, 2010), begins when the 17-year-old narrator checks herself into Golden Meadows Hospital after smashing a glass window with her fist. Struggling with depression, exhaustion, and drug addiction, Stacy Black just wants to feel like herself again ("I just don't know who 'me' is anymore"). Described with stark candor, her recovery is heart-wrenching and hard-won, as she wrestles with issues of self-esteem and body image, hangs on to an unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend, and refuses to admit to anyone–even herself–that she has an eating disorder. Meanwhile, her interactions with the other patients reveal her to be a caring, encouraging, and creative individual, and her desire to get better is both earnest and inspiring. White's artwork is as unflinchingly honest as her narrative, and the graphic-novel format keeps the pacing slow and deliberate, allowing the emotional content to truly sink in. Interview-style commentary from four of Stacy's friends appears throughout, rounding out the main character and illustrating that these girls struggle with many of the same issues. Words and pictures work flawlessly together to paint an unsentimental, poignant, and telling picture of an arduous experience, revealing that while there are no easy answers, there's a whole lot to work toward and hope for. — School Library Journal

Children's Literature - Heather Robertson Mason

Stacy Black is a drug user. She's bulimic. She's angry. Mostly, though, she is horribly, inconsolably sad and sees no end to it. She checks herself into Golden Meadows Hospital hoping to find some way out of her depression. This graphic novel details her struggle to face the demons haunting her and her inability to love herself. Although the main character's name is slightly different, this is the author's memoir. On the surface, it would seem to be a poorly written book: no real beginning, no definite end, no climax or epiphany. The author's voice, however, is so real, it's like listening to a good friend open their heart. Even though she is a self-destructive liar, she is so honest about her pain that you can't help but hope she finds a way out of it. Her honesty doesn't extend to her friends in the story, giving readers a true sense of the conflict without having to write it into the plot. The author talks very casually about drugs and the story is more subtle than younger readers are used to, so this book would only be appropriate for high school. A beautifully written, and drawn, memoir. Reviewer: Heather Robertson Mason

School Library Journal

Gr 9 Up—White has created a semiautobiographical account of her battle with a mental disorder, bulimia, and drug addiction. Through a variety of formats, readers follow Stacy Black, 17, through this ordeal. The book is divided into chronological sections. Each one opens with text-only panels recording the responses of four friends to a question about Stacy. The densely packed text in these speech balloons requires some effort to wade through. This is followed by copies of documents such as portions of actual doctor and therapist reports. A series of panels then chronicles a period of Stacy's stay at Golden Meadows, a mental hospital. These cartoon panels are highly compelling and the book's strongest feature. White's arrangement of figures within each panel, especially during therapy sessions, exposes Stacy's emotional state. Changes in the artist's point of view inform readers of the teen's slowly changing perspectives of herself and her world. The line, "It's never a good idea to lie your way through therapy" hints at the big reveal in the final pages of the book: Stacy has hidden her episodes of bulimia from the hospital staff. While she tells the group, "I used to be bulimic. I don't have the urge anymore," she is continuing her ongoing dialogue with the toilet in her room. Young adults willing to stay with Stacy through the dense textual passages will find a compelling story.—Barbara M. Moon, Suffolk Cooperative Library System, Bellport, NY

Kirkus Reviews

At age 18 Stacy Black-the alter ego of author Tracy White-was hospitalized for depression and an eating disorder. Chronicled in this candid graphic memoir is her journey through institutionalization; her ups and downs with her unreliable boyfriend, Eric; her bleak, unrelenting thoughts and her battle with bulimia. Though Stacy suffers from not one but two disorders, her angst is communicated effortlessly, and readers will have no trouble relating to her. Rounding out Stacy's account is commentary by her friends and "reports" from Stacy's hospital files, adding depth and perspective to the narrative. Though she gives readers an upfront and unflinching portrayal, White ends on a cautiously hopeful note with the promise of college in the horizon. Through her spare, line-based art and stark, dialogue-driven text, White delivers a wallop in this "mostly true" memoir. Think a lighter Girl, Interrupted meets the artistic styling of John Porcellino's Perfect Example (1999). (Graphic memoir. YA)

Publishers Weekly

White's story of a 17-year-old girl's ordeals with depression, addiction, and body image issues is all the more powerful because of its basis in truth. The story follows Stacy Black, whose nervous breakdown leads to her decision to check into the Golden Meadows Hospital for mental health. Given the thinly veiled name of the protagonist, it's no surprise that White is upfront about the events being drawn from her own experiences. Stacy begins with the simple goal of finding a way to be happy with her life again. What follows, though, is life-changing realizations about her drug dependency, her relationship with her mother, and her insecurities about her boyfriend. In the end, her most unexpected revelation is how serious her body image issues are, how much she'd accepted them as an ordinary part of her life, and how much damage they've done to her. White's very simple hand-drawn, b&w artistic style enhances the personal touch of the work, creating the effect of an illustrated diary. While text-heavy, the narration is clear-eyed and affecting. Ages 14-up. (June)

VOYA - Jennifer Miskec

White's "mostly true story" begins when seventeen-year-old Stacy Black enters Golden Meadows Hospital in an attempt to feel like herself again—whoever that is. Ostensibly Stacy works toward her goal of being happy again, earning privileges at the hospital and even becoming close friends with another patient. But she moves both forward and backward in her recovery, clinging to an unhealthy relationship with Eric, offering advice she cannot take, and refusing to be open and honest about her thoughts and actions. Stacy's story of anxiety, abuse, self-harm, addiction, and depression, is also a story of an interesting, creative young woman and her friends, a veritable chorus that adds perspective and insight into Stacy's struggles. White's images are as intense and telling as the written text. Comparisons to Susanna Kaysen's Girl, Interrupted (Random House, 1993) are unavoidable: both are stories of self-discovery, memoirs of the female authors' time in mental health facilities during their late adolescence. Both Kaysen's and White's stories are fascinating and frustrating. Most significantly, both memoirs stop short of offering easy solutions to complicated problems. White's perspective is honest, often unflinchingly and quite unsympathetic to her adolescent self. Still it is made clear why Stacy is likeable and loyal. More honest than Cut (Front Street, 2000/VOYA February 2001), more intriguing even than Girl, Interrupted, White's novel uses stark black-and-white imagery to construct her frank and honest story of a fraught adolescence. Reviewer: Jennifer Miskec