I Said No!: Refusal Skills

Children's Literature - Christine Cassello

Katie and her friend Olivia are at a video store in the mall. Olivia tells Katie to steal a DVD. When Katie objects, Olivia calls her a chicken and baby. Katie knows that Olivia would make fun of her at school too. She does not know what to do. Following this opening tale, the author introduces his illustrated character Slim Goodbody, who gives steps to practice saying no when is difficult to turn down friends. He gives reasons why it may be the best thing to do and explains that it is not easy, beginning with "the terrible twos," when parents break children of the habit of saying no at that age. He describes the influence peer pressure has on their decisions and then presents ten coping skills. First, consider the consequences, Second, practice saying no, and third, use body language to show intent. Fourth is to repeat the steps. Fifth, do not apologize because that gives the other person the opportunity to try to change your mind. Sixth is to change the subject. Seventh, do not ask why. Eighth, give reasons for not wanting to do it. Nine is to suggest alternatives, and ten is to leave. The books explains how kids can let other people know they still want to be friends but have to do what they believe is best for them. A page on how to say no to yourself might be even more difficult. The photographs show real children of a variety of sexes, ethnic backgrounds, and abilities practicing the skills that are part of the "Slim Goodbody's Life Skills 101" series. A glossary explains unfamiliar words, and there are lists of books and Web sites for further information. Reviewer: Christine Cassello