I Still Have It, I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It

I bought a new wrinkle cream.
If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.
Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.
I ate it.

As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word.

In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.

So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

I bought a new wrinkle cream.
If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.
Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.
I ate it.

As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word.

In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.

So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

Publishers Weekly

Rudner's best known as a comedienne, appearing in films such as Peter's Friends, and performing nightly in Vegas. It's no surprise, then, that the crucial element missing from her latest (after Turning the Tables) is the little-girl-lost delivery she's famous for. As it is, the actress-screenwriter-author scribes an intermittently hilarious hodge-podge on the joys of aging, and other preoccupations. Among four dozen semi-related short pieces-comprised of anecdotes, comedy routines, lists, questions and touching vignettes-some is pure filler: a chapter on her Oscar gift basket, a tedious anecdote about a mean dad at her daughter's preschool class, "Future Reality Shows." When she hits, however, she hits big, landing absurdist gems like her chapter on getting ready to leave the house: "Being a woman is difficult... It's like being a female impersonator every single day." Though she deploys a refreshingly dry eye about the aging process, some readers will find her shtick a bit too rarified, based as it is on a distinctly privileged lifestyle.
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RITA RUDNER is a celebrated and award-winning comedian, actress, screenwriter, and author. Her past books include the bestselling Naked Beneath My Clothes and the novels Tickled Pink and Turning the Tables. She currently performs exclusively in Las Vegas. Visit her online at www.RitaFunny.com.