Masculinity, Self-Improvement, Relationships - Interpersonal

If Men Could Talk

Name: If Men Could Talk
Author: Alon Gratch
ISBN: 9780316178617

by Alon Gratch

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Overview

In the bestselling traditions of John Gray and Deborah Tannen, If Men Could Talk...is the inside story about men. Provocative, entertaining, and brilliant, it's a window into the emotional male locker room. Dr. Alon Gratch, a clinical psychologist, uses the stories of his male patients and his own experiences as a man to explain and interpret why men think and act the way they do. Original and thoughtful, he is not selling quick-fix solutions that don't work. Rather, he shares his thinking as a psychologist and helps you to apply sophisticated psychological tools to everyday life.

It's not that men don't talk, says Dr. Gratch, it's just that they speak a different language. Breaking down male psychology into seven factors -- Shame, Emotional Absence, Masculine Insecurity, Self-Involvement, Aggression, Self-Destructiveness, and Sexual Acting-Out -- Dr. Gratch gives you the tools to listen so you can interpret and understand the inner world of men. If Men Could Talk...is men in translation.

Filled with advice and stories that are surprising and shocking, this book will change the way you look at your relationships. So universal are the book's concepts that it has already been bought for translation and publication in many countries, including France, Germany, Sweden, Italy, Holland, Spain, Greece, China, England, and Denmark.

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Editorials

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly

Women drawn to this book by its promise to unlock men's secrets will find that following Gratch's premise requires more effort and sophistication than following the work of John Gray. Though this book holds insights into the male psyche and into the therapeutic process itself, readers looking for a quick fix or easy characterizations will be disappointed. Despite the clever title, Gratch serves up fairly serious theory flavored with dollops of Russian literature and only brief suggestions on dealing with men's behavior. Rather than suggest manipulative tactics, he urges women to hone their emotional understanding, in one case advising women to be like a "detective" in probing for emotions. Observing that "the cornerstone of man's gender identity is his feminine, not masculine, desires," this Westchester, N.Y., clinical psychologist surveys men's motivations using popular catchphrases: "boys don't cry" (shame); "I don't know what I feel" (emotional absence); "tired of being on top" (insecurity); "see me, touch me" (self-involvement); "I'll show you who's boss" (aggression); "I'm such a loser" (self-destruction); "I want sex now" (sexual acting out). In alternately familiar and intriguing composite patient profiles, Gratch illustrates each behavior, documenting his reactions to being challenged and engaged by--and at times almost jousting with--patients. (Feb. 20) Forecast: While Gratch aims for a dual readership, his catchy title and topic are designed to attract media attention and a stampede of women buyers. However, he may have pitched this one too high for a mass audience. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Library Journal

Gratch, a clinical psychologist with more than 20 years of experience (Columbia Univ. and Columbia Presbyterian Hosp.), has taken a distinctly psychoanalytical view of why men do what they do. He posits seven attributes in an attempt to explain male behavior: shame, emotional absence, self-involvement, masculine insecurity, aggression, self-destructiveness, and sexual acting-out. The author blames a lot of these issues on men trying--but not being fully able--to hide the feminine part of their psyches. He also blames a lot of gender conflict on men reacting negatively to women being too "womanly": because they don't like the feminine aspects of their own psyches, they feel called upon to revile these aspects in others. This tendentious work is a marginal purchase for most libraries; buy where Sigmund Freud is still "the man" and patrons believe that a cigar is never a cigar.--Pamela A. Matthews, Gettysburg Coll., PA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.