Is Your Cat Gay?

Have you ever found yourself pondering your cat's sexual preference? Perhaps the answer lies within these pages.

Have you ever found yourself pondering your cat's sexual preference? If so, consider the following... Do your shoes feel furry in the morning? Does kitty refuse anything but filtered water served in a martini glass? If it's not sushi quality tuna on Limoges, forget it! Does kitty's scratching post double as a shrine to Mother? Is kitty a bit too catty? Does the litter box smell suspiciously of Chanel No. 5? Does your cat insist on traveling in a custom Hermes carrier? Has your treasured first edition of Valley of the Dolls gone missing? Have you ever come home and found the lighting dramatically altered? Is your cat only amused by 3-ply cashmere yarn woven by blind Belgian nuns? Is the tom next-door your cat's "special friend"? Does kitty shun anything but 1200 count Pratesi sheets? Why is "Judy at Carnegie Hall" always in the CD player? Do you suspect kitty is using your product to groom himself? Do hair balls take on a whole other meaning around your house? Keep your paws off his very special collection of Cher, Limited Edition Barbies. Your cat's idea of a perfect Sunday-The Times, a smoke, and a great Bette Davis flick. Does it really matter?

Victoria Roberts is an internationally renowned cartoonist whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Real Simple, and The Australian.

Charles Kreloff is an art director and graphic designer living in New York City.

Patty Brown is a book editor and writer living in New York City with her husband and daughter.