Just a Mom

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly

At the end of her first book (Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey), the mother of comedian Ellen DeGeneres invited readers to send her questions, comments and letters. This much slimmer volume collects that correspondence and offers DeGeneres senior, the spokeswoman for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming-Out Day Project, a chance to issue nurturing, practical advice and affirmations, and to gently dismantle myths, stereotypes and fears. Never at a loss for a book to recommend, a Web site to visit or an organization to join, DeGeneres is for many gay people an ideal mother. But parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will probably benefit most from her "straight talk" on coming out, antigay legislation, homophobia, teen suicides and "real" family values. As a peer, DeGeneres is able to address issues, concerns and questions that parents face when their children come out. But DeGeneres is not all soft sound bites. Comparing discrimination now to 22 years ago, when her comedian/actress daughter came out to her, she finds that "today the prejudice is meaner, nastier--a vindictiveness rooted in hatred, not ignorance. It's hard to believe that most of this homophobic venom emanates from churches." The book's chatty style and loose structure makes for easy digestion in short intervals, although some readers may be miffed by the now outdated references to Ellen's former partner, Anne Heche. (N0v.) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.

This book is written for anyone who has trouble accepting a gay child, or any gay child who has difficulty wanting to come out to his or her parents. Betty DeGeneres, mother of famed comedian Ellen DeGeneres, chronicles the journey of a mother and daughter, marked first by disappointment and later by compassion, acceptance, and love. DeGeneres weaves together a memoir that is insightful, supportive and practical. Reinforced by anecdotes, DeGeneres covers timely topics that any parent or supporter needs to eliminate longstanding myths and to embrace tolerance and understanding. She provides an especially helpful guide for such groups as Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians (PFLAG). Above all, she shows that being gay is not about sex. With her co-author, Dr. Dina Bachelor Evans, she writes, "it is about the human spirit and a choice made to demonstrate that love is not limited by gender." In this moving account, both mother and daughter learn that the path to understanding begins with breaking human silence. Genre: Relationships/Homosexuality 2000, Advocate Books, 188 pp., $21.95. Ages 12 up. Reviewer: Katherine McFarland; Shippensburg, Pennsylvania.

VOYA

As the mother of openly gay comedian Ellen DeGeneres, the author has personal insight into being a parent of a gay child. At the conclusion of her first book, Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey (Morrow, 1999), DeGeneres invited readers to write to her. Many gay men and women and family members offered their heartbreaking stories. She shares their experiences here and provides down-to-earth advice based on the interactions she has had with parents and their gay and lesbian children during her travels as the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign. She clearly states the personal and societal benefits that come from a person publicly coming out. Readers are reminded that 3 to 10 percent of the population is gay and that parents should be aware that their children might be gay. Ten percent of the population is left-handed. Everyone knows a left-handed person, but "millions of Americans say they don't know anyone who is gay." The difficulty teens have with their sexual identity also is discussed. DeGeneres quotes a 1997 Massachusetts high school study that found 46 percent of gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens had attempted suicide in the previous year. Speaking directly to these teens, she validates their need for approval. Every junior high and senior high school library should have a copy of this book with a copy also available in the counselor's office. Photos. VOYA CODES: 4Q 4P J S A/YA (Better than most, marred only by occasional lapses; Broad general YA appeal; Junior High, defined as grades 7 to 9; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12; Adult and Young Adult). 2000, Advocate Books/Alyson, 174p, . Ages 14 to Adult. Reviewer: Ruth Cox SOURCE: VOYA, April 2001(Vol. 24, No.1)

Library Journal

In this new book, Ellen DeGeneres's mom dispenses gentle advice on parenting gay children and related topics. Her message is that, above all, children need parental love regardless of sexual orientation. Betty DeGeneres, spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project, needn't say more than these seven beautiful words on rearing Ellen: "I loved her. I didn't label her." But she does. She goes on and on. Her last book (the best-selling Love, Ellen) was warm if not exactly gripping, and this is very similar. The homespun style makes readers feel as though cookies are just about to come out of the oven and that between batches the author is canning vegetables. What results is a likable, if bland, introduction to a politicized and sensitive topic. For an objective biography of the celebrity daughter, try Kathleen Tracy's Ellen: The Real Story of Ellen DeGeneres (LJ 5/15/99). For most public libraries.--Douglas C. Lord, Hartford P.L., CT Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.