Letting Go and Finding Yourself

Denise Perry Donavin

Separation from parents is often considered a stage of young adult development, but Kast points out that early in life, from birth, actually, children enter into necessary stages of separation from their parents. Kast believes that by recognizing those stages, a parent, particularly a mother, can forge healthier relationships throughout life and ease the inevitable parting when a child reaches adulthood. Kast actually applies the stages of mourning to the sense of loss felt at separation, referring to it as "the grief work that is necessary when we have to relinquish adult children to life." Moving beyond the sense of loss, Kast points out how this separation is also an opportunity for redefining oneself and the marital relationship.