Mom, They're Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems

• The difference between real risk and normal social pain
• The appropriate time to intervene–and when to step back
• Tips on how to mediate between children–without appearing meddlesome
• The importance of teaching and encouraging leadership
• The redemptive power of friendship

Mom, They’re Teasing Me answers key questions about the many manifestations of social cruelty, offers compelling descriptions of prime “teasing” scenarios, and illustrates how to counter them. It is an indispensable book for involved parents who want to make their child’s formative years rich and rewarding.

Through vividly written case studies and a reader-friendly question-and-answer format, Mom, They’re Teasing Me is full of specific, how-to advice for parents to help their children navigate the sometimes harsh terrain of social life–which includes name-calling, after-school fights, esteem-crushing cliques, and malicious exclusion by the popular kids. Through thoughtful discussion and insightful suggestions, parents will discover

• The difference between real risk and normal social pain
• The appropriate time to intervene–and when to step back
• Tips on how to mediate between children–without appearing meddlesome
• The importance of teaching and encouraging leadership
• The redemptive power of friendship

Mom, They’re Teasing Me answers key questions about the many manifestations of social cruelty, offers compelling descriptions of prime “teasing” scenarios, and illustrates how to counter them. It is an indispensable book for involved parents who want to make their child’s formative years rich and rewarding.

Library Journal

Childhood angst tends to torment parents as well as children and can erupt into the tragedy of school shootings. These books address such problems from fairly dissimilar perspectives. Psychologists Thompson (coauthor, Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) collaborate with journalist/ author Grace on a sensitive and straightforward advice manual that focuses on 40 key questions regarding the social life of children. Conversational and upbeat in tone, the book is divided into three sections designed to help readers distinguish "normal" social pain from more lasting trauma. The text covers friendship skills, tattletales, racial bigotry, bullying, and personal hygiene and also suggests techniques for building positive leadership and conflict-resolution skills. The issues addressed are drawn from actual questions raised during their workshop/consulting experience. The answers reflect cumulated wisdom about what matters in the life of children from grade school through adolescence, and the book as a whole similar to but more practical than Charlotte Giannetti's and Margaret Sagarese's recent Cliques. In contrast, Garbarino (human development, Cornell Univ.; Lost Boys) and de Lara, a researcher and family therapist, focus on the pathology of mainstream high school life in America. Based on interviews and discussions with rural and suburban students from "All-American" communities and published research, the book debunks myths about school safety and discusses multiple aspects of emotional violence in a school setting, including stalking, bullying, dysfunctional adaptations to harassment, and teacher violations. The authors exhibit an insightful understanding of school cliques (e.g., "hicks," jocks, and "Goths") but tend to be alarmist when depicting daily high school life. However, the research is impressive and generates many valuable suggestions for improving the school environment. The book concludes with resources and readings on bullying and violence prevention. Though Garbarino and de Lara's book is more focused on school management issues, both books are recommended for public library parenting collections. [Thompson's book was previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 4/1/02.]-Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, IN

Michael Thompson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, lecturer, consultant, and former seventh-grade teacher. He conducts workshops on social cruelty, children’s friendships, and boys’ development across the United States. He is the author of Speaking of Boys and coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Raising Cain, as well as Best Friends, Worst Enemies, with Catherine O’Neill Grace and Lawrence J. Cohen. The father of a daughter and a son, he and his wife live in Arlington, Massachusetts. Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., is a psychologist and the author of Playful Parenting. He is also a columnist for The Boston Globe. He lives in Brookline, Massachusetts, with his wife and daughter. Catherine O’Neill Grace is the author of numerous nonfiction books for children and was a former middle school teacher. For fifteen years she wrote a Washington Post column for young readers about health and psychology. She and her husband live in Waltham, Massachusetts.