Nice Girl Syndrome C

Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? Have you stayed in an abusive relationship even though you know how much it is hurting you? If any of this sounds familiar, read The Nice Girl Syndrome.

In this breakthrough guide, internationally acclaimed therapist and emotional abuse expert Beverly Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, since "nice girls" are much more likely to be victimized—emotionally, physically, and sexually—than those who are not so nice. She helps you determine whether the syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations, and she identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls. She also discusses the specific conditions and experiences that contribute to the development of each type and helps you decide which type might apply to you.

Engel helps you understand the signals that your Nice Girl behavior sends to potential abusers. Through prescriptive action steps, she shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in your Nice Girl act and how to replace them with healthier, more empowering ones.

By reading The Nice Girl Syndrome, you'll learn how to:

• Stop putting other people's needs and feelings before your own

• Stop believing that being nice will protect you and learn how to protect yourself

• Stop worrying about what other people think of you

• Start standing up for yourself and your rights

• Express your anger and learn how to handle conflict effectively

To help in your journey from Nice Girl to strong woman, Engel tells the moving and inspiringstories of women she has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and who have broken free fromthose who manipulate, belittle, and abuse them. Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, The Nice Girl Syndrome will show you step by step how to be your own strong woman.

Publishers Weekly

Engel (Healing Your Emotional Self), a psychotherapist and domestic violence expert, has sharp words for the "nice girls" of the world who care more about being perceived as sweet and pleasant than strong and self-protective. Drop the phoniness and passivity, she exhorts, arguing that while society superficially rewards nice girls, they suffer deeply in their intimate and work relationships by losing personal power and parading inauthentic selves. Avoiding conflict and playing naïve may seem to offer payoffs, Engel notes, but the payoffs aren't as big as the price women pay for not holding their ground—"They may get taken care of but they aren't respected. They may get special attention but from the wrong kind of people." Readers will find Engel's elucidation of the four causes of "Nice Girl Syndrome" and the "Seven Types of Nice Girls" (i.e., Doormat, Pretender, Prude, Enlightened One) deeply funny and familiar. Most useful for its thorough treatment for how "nice girls" are socialized and for Engel's concise antidote (the four "Power C's": confidence, competence, conviction and courage) this book will challenge, entertain and empower its readers. (July)

Beverly Engel, an internationally recognized expert in emotional abuse and a licensed marriage and family therapist for thirty years, is the executive director of Domestic Violence Solutions for Santa Barbara County. She is the author of numerous successful books, including Healing Your Emotional Self, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, and Loving Him without Losing You. Engel has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprah, Starting Over, Donahue, Ricki Lake, and Sally Jessy Raphael, and her work is frequently featured in national magazines and newspapers such as O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times.