Planet Janet

Publishers Weekly

In this often funny but ultimately disappointing novel, 16-year-old Janet journals about life in the "Dark Phase," in which she and her best friend, Disha, attempt to "be in touch with the real stuff. The deep pain and joy." In her quest, Janet tries yoga from a book and gets her nose pierced, but she is oblivious to the issues going on around her. The boy for whom she became a vegetarian is obviously not interested in her; the girl hanging outside her house is actually stalking her brother; and her father's having an affair with a neighbor, causing her mother a considerable amount of stress. Janet's cluelessness can be comical, such as when she and Disha fail to make the connection between the candles they are using for a spell and the smoke alarm going off in the house, or when she is outraged by her father's suggestion that she vacuum ("If he thinks I'm going to be his skivvy, he can think again"). Sheldon includes interesting details about many of the characters in the book (Janet's grandmother was a spy and her lesbian aunt is having a baby, for example). But unlike the cast of her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, the people here mostly fail to come alive. Janet's antics are entertaining, but she herself is not particularly likable and the narrative seems derivative, rather than energized with the fresh repartee of Sheldon's previous novels. Ages 14-up. (Feb.)

Children's Literature

Sixteen-year-old Janet Foley Bandry lives with her mother (the Mad Cow), her father (Sigmund, the psychotherapist), and her older brother (Justin, the dweeble). Wishing to isolate herself from her annoying family, Janet looks inward and enters what she dubs the Dark Phase. Along with her best friend, Disha, Janet begins to wear black clothing, listen to jazz, read and write thoughtful works of literature, and generally attempt to reach a higher plane of existence. In the process, she meets and falls for Elvin, a teenage documentary filmmaker who she sees as dark, mature, and altogether desirable. In order to win his affection, Janet experiments with vegetarianism and learns to ride a bicycle. Unfortunately, his only interest in her is the hope of developing a working relationship with her brother, a fellow film guy. Told in the form of a collection of journal entries written by Janet, readers are able to witness her self-centeredness and lack of awareness of truth and reality. Despite several clues of her mother's unhappiness, she has no idea that her father is having an affair, and although a young man named David is obviously smitten with her, Janet is too consumed by her own search-for-self to notice. It is only when she recognizes the needs of others that she begins to mature. Although not as compelling or well-written as Sheldon's earlier novel, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, the novel will likely be a hit with reluctant readers who are seeking a spunky protagonist whose insights into life are often humorous and wry. 2002, Candlewick Press,
— Wendy Glenn

School Library Journal

Gr 7-10-This bitingly witty novel reads like a cross between Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones's Diary (Viking, 1998) and Sue Townsend's The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13-3/4 (Avon, 1984). It's tough to feel properly appreciated for your questing and artistic soul when you're surrounded by shallow, lifeless, and "v. boring" parents. And so, Janet Foley Bandry, age 16, decides to embark on the "Dark Phase" of her life by exploring her creative nature, nurturing her passionate soul, and wearing only black and purple. She goes through typical teen self-absorption, which is relieved only by hour-long conversations with her best friend and soul mate, Disha, and they dissect every nuance of everything they've endured, usually incorrectly. But somehow over the course of five months, during which time Janet suffers many indignities and humiliations and her parents separate, it looks like the drama queen of "Planet Janet" is actually starting to become a little bit more compassionate and grown up. Meg Cabot's fans will enjoy this lightweight foray into British teen melodrama.-Susan Riley, Mount Kisco Public Library, NY Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

An utterly self-absorbed British teen scrivens her frustrations with the rest of the world in her slang-filled diary, all the while blissfully ignorant of the real chaos around her. Sound familiar? Janet Bandry is distinguished from Georgia Nicolson by her pretensions toward intellectualism: she and her best friend have decided to celebrate the new year by entering what they call the Dark Phase. What the Dark Phase means to Janet is wearing black, dying her hair purple, listening to jazz, and attempting to read The Outsider ("it was about three thousand pages shorter than Ulysses"). Janet's family includes her mother, the Mad Cow; her psychiatrist father, Sigmund; her photographer brother, Geek Boy; her lesbian feminist aunt, Sappho; and her Bible-thumping ex-spy Nan, all of whom represent tedious obstacles to Janet's pursuit of passion, in the person of the dashing vegetarian Elvin. In Sheldon's (Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, 1999, etc.) hands, Janet's general numbness results in some truly hilarious passages, but it also can be painful to witness. What the reader knows long before Janet is that her parents' marriage is on the rocks: "Came home to find the female parent IN MY ROOM! She was lying on my bed! I was highly indignant, I can tell you. Not only was this a MAJOR breach of my privacy, but her eyes were all red and she was sniffling like she was coming down with something. She'd better not be infecting me with her germs." The constant irony between Janet's unbelievably obtuse reportage and the actual events readers discern below the surface sounds a one-note chorus that wears thin. Janet worries to her diary "about becoming as shallow and pointless as the rest of [her]family." While this offering provides undeniable chuckles (aided by discriminating use of typefaces for emphasis), one is left wondering whether it is itself rather shallow and pointless. But it will certainly find an audience. (Fiction. 12+)