Overview
They were dark and stormy knights...and when they had their way with a helpless tavern wench one terrible evening, they had no idea that the result of that twilight brutality was going to come after them years later looking to settle the score...
The "result's" unlikely name is Apropos: A rogue, a rascal, a scoundrel, a cheat...and those are his good points. Lame of leg but fast of wit, the only reason Apropos doesn't consider chivalry dead is because he's not yet through with it. Herewith, Sir Apropos of Nothing — his story in the words of the knave himself.
Apropos, all too aware of his violent and unseemly beginnings, travels to the court of the good King Runcible, with three goals in mind: to find his father, seek retribution, and line his own pockets. However, Apropos carries the most troublesome burden a would-be harbinger of chaos can bear: He may well be a hero foretold, a young man of destiny. It is not a notion that Apropos finds palatable, having very low regard for such notions as honor, selflessness, or risking one's neck. Yet when Apropos finds himself assigned as squire to the most senile knight in the court — Sir Umbrage of the Flaming Nether Regions, whose squires tend to have a rather short life span — Apropos is forced to rise to the occasion lest he be dragged under — permanently.
His difficulties are compounded when a routine mission to escort the King's daughter home after a long absence goes horribly awry. Suddenly Apropos finds himself saddled with trying to survive while dealing with a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and — most problematic of all — a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.
Featuring a hero cut from cloth similar to that of such entertaining blackguards as Blackadder and Flashman, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a skewed version of classic, mythic adventure that is by turns hilarious and frightening, slapstick and serious, and filled with drop-dead laughs and drop-dead people.
Synopsis
Apropos is a rogue, a rascal, a scoundrel, a cheat. When he travels to the court of King Runcible to find his father, seek retribution, and line his pockets, he meets up with murderous unicorns, homicidal warrior kings, and a psychotic arsonist who is also a princess.
Library Journal
Born to a prostitute and raised to live by his wits, the thief and scoundrel called Apropos undergoes a change of heart when he becomes the unwilling guardian of a rebellious princess. The author of Q-in-Law, Imzada, and other Star Trek novels, David tries his hand at fantasy adventure as he tells the tale of a man who rises from a life of crime to a career as a hero. Arch humor and fast-paced action make this a suitable choice for large fantasy collections. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 3/15/00.] Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Editorials
From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble ReviewHeroes always accomplish great undoable deeds, triumph over evil and live happily ever after. Right?
Since birth, Apropos' mother thought he was a hero -- despite his twisted leg and homely looks. But Apropos knows the truth -- that he is just a clumsy, selfish coward who does dumb things and is lucky enough to escape harm by lying. The real hero is his brave best friend. Apropos is just a footnote -- a footnote who ain't gonna take it no more.
I loved this book. Apropos is a charming, clever schemer whose self-serving decisions bring him credit for great deeds. When he starts to believe his press releases, he gets hit in the face with the short end of the stick.
This book kept me guessing. I loved each of Peter David's surprising twists. It was easy to read, fast-moving and very funny. Great for fans of Piers Anthony, Robert Aspirin and Terry Brooks -- and for everyone who hates being a comic footnote! (Libby Romfh)
Library Journal
Born to a prostitute and raised to live by his wits, the thief and scoundrel called Apropos undergoes a change of heart when he becomes the unwilling guardian of a rebellious princess. The author of Q-in-Law, Imzada, and other Star Trek novels, David tries his hand at fantasy adventure as he tells the tale of a man who rises from a life of crime to a career as a hero. Arch humor and fast-paced action make this a suitable choice for large fantasy collections. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 3/15/00.] Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.Many know Davis from his bestselling Star Trek novels. Released from that format, he becomes a darkly amusing fantasist. The opening here echoes the oversexed court-jester scene in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask), with stableboy Apropos being found in Lady Granitz's chamber by her husband, Sir Granitz, King Runcible's most bloodthirsty knight, who accidentally impales himself on his own sword while trying to slay Apropos. Apropos and Lady Granitz invent a tale that they were trying to keep Granitz from suicide. So Runcible, perhaps seeing Apropos as a marvelous patsy who may actually succeed, has the Queen send him out on a mission. Then we learn of Apropos' penniless mother who, lost once in the woods, saw a phoenix burn to ash and rise again in flame. When she's raped by six knights, the child born to her has flaming red hair, a phoenix flame on his thigh, a misshapen right leg, and teeth. Covered with birth blood, he bites a boorish tavernkeeper and is named Apropos because he's a child of violence born with teeth. His mother raises him on a whore's earnings, and he's taught to steal by Tacit, a magical youth raised by unicorns, with whom he saves beautiful Sharee the weaver from a mob. When Apropos' mother is murdered and robbed, he goes to Runcible for justice. Instead, he's made squire to creaky old Sir Umbrage, who must accompany Apropos on a mission to pick up the fiery young Princess Entipy from the Faith Women's Retreat and on the way back educate her. Or they could go to the Screaming Gorge of Eternal Madness and-would they rather make that quest? What can it mean when Apropos at last finds a phoenix birthmark just like his on Entipy'sbare hip? And what do the unicorns know that he doesn't? Has he, in fact, gotten his own sister pregnant? Steady fun, yes, but rather YA.