The Seven Year Bitch

From the bestselling author of High Maintenance and Going Down comes a witty, heartfelt comic novel about marriage, motherhood, and discovering that the life you have is exactly the one you want.

What’s a fabulous New York City girl supposed to do when she finds herself fantasizing about the Grim Reaper more than she fantasizes about her husband? When she can’t help but give him the finger on the set of Sesame Street? And when she doesn’t exactly hope for a safe landing when he goes away on business?

No, ex-hedge fund manager and new mom Isolde Brilliant hasn’t got the seven year itch—taking care of her baby and husband and having a growing suspicion that she’s living life in captivity has turned her into a seven year bitch.

That’s New York author Jennifer Belle’s deliciously provocative phrase for the boredom, anger, and hurt that can creep into even the best of marriages—and affect even the most saintly of wives. In the tradition of Jennifer Weiner and Meg Wolitzer, Belle delivers a dead-on, raw and hilarious novel about motherhood and marriage and discovering the life you have is exactly the one you wanted.  

From the bestselling author of High Maintenance comes a witty, heartfelt comic novel about marriage, motherhood, and discovering that the life you have is exactly the one you want.

Isolde Brilliant used to have a life she recognized. She was working in finance, she had a devoted, if neurotic, husband, and a perfectly acceptable apartment in downtown Manhattan. But once Izzy's wish to become a mother finally comes true, she is laid off from her job, and her old world falls by the wayside. Although she's surprised with motherhood's hidden pleasures-jaunts to the park, bickering with other mothers, and the sense of accomplishment she feels in having made it through her son's first year-her marriage is on shaky ground and she feels lost. She just can't quite get a grip on what to do now that she has all-or most-of the things she's ever wanted.

As Izzy ponders her next move, her best friend announces that she is leaving her husband. Balancing the demands of marriage and motherhood for seven years has made her feel like a nag, a shrew, a...you-know-what, and she's determined that the only way out is too leave. Izzy tries to avoid a similar fate, but as new challenges and temptations arise for her, she begins to wonder if there might be some inescapable grain of truth in her friend's outlandish theory.

Full of the poignancy and hilarity that readers have come to expect from Jennifer Belle, The Seven Year Bitch is a smart and provocative novel about learning how to love what you have, and finding out that it's both the hardest thing you've ever done and not so hard after all.

Publishers Weekly

Welcome to not-so-happily-ever-after. Soon-to-be-40 Izzy just lost her Wall Street job, has a husband who runs a struggling publishing operation from their apartment, a year-old son, and a growing suspicion she's living life in captivity. “It's not that you get a seven-year itch,” divorced pal Joy confides. “It's that they turn you into a seven-year bitch.” And so Izzy goes all in, railing at hubby Russell; becoming involved in her son's nanny's quest to get pregnant; lusting after the rich, handsome guy who got away; and discovering her own heart thanks to her uncommon new job: judging promotional contest essays for 25 cents each. Belle's (Little Stalker) smart and hilariously ridiculous paean to love, marriage, and a baby carriage proves you can't always get what you want and you rarely get what you need, but you always get to choose. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments that come uncomfortably close to the truth about less-than-perfect relationships, which helps salvage an ending wrapped just a little too tight. Still, style and wit count, and on that, Belle doesn't disappoint. (May)

Jennifer Belle is the national bestselling author of Going Down, High Maintenance, and the children's book Animal Stackers. Her work has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, the New York Observer, Harper's Bazaar, and Ms.