Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart

Wise and compassionate advice from one of the nation's most trusted grief counselors-to help heal emotional wounds that linger and prevent us from leading full and happy lives.

Unattended sorrow is unresolved grief that has never been given a chance to heal. This lovely, spiritual book from one of the nation's most trusted grief counselors offers a series of techniques to help heal this pain so readers can lead full and joyful lives. The book not only guides those who have experienced a fresh loss to face the hurt before it settles in, but it also addresses the devastating impact of tragedies past, when people become "stuck" years after childhood abuse, teen rape, early divorce, or loss of a loved one.

"Your heart and soul can be made whole again, be rejuvenated. . . . All this is thanks to the gentle, insightful, user-friendly wisdom of my friend, Stephen Levine."—Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator, #1 New York Times bestselling series, Chicken Soup for the Soul

Publishers Weekly

According to Levine, "unattended sorrow," even years after a loss, casts a shadow over one's entire life, leading to fear, doubt, shame and, more concretely, eating disorders, troubled sleep and sexual dysfunction. These sorrows, he writes, involve not only death but "the ungrieved losses of love betrayed, of trusts broken, and of the repeated bruises left by unkindness" that, unheeded, "sink well below the level of our awareness." In this valuable addition to the literature on mourning and bereavement, Levine writes in a soothing voice informed by many of the principles of Buddhism, but also encompassing all the major spiritual traditions. Levine (A Gradual Awakening), who has done grief counseling with concentration camp survivors, Vietnam vets and many others, points out that a new loss may be intensified by earlier, unresolved griefs about the death or divorce of parents, the loss of a sibling or other psychological traumas. Levine identifies three stages on the path to easing the anguish of loss: softening the pain, cultivating mercy and making peace with the pain. He recommends a number of techniques, including a breathing exercise to loosen a stomach constricted by fear and denial and periods of silent time spent meditating or walking. All of his easy-to-follow suggestions involve extending kindness and forgiveness to the self, which, Levine says, will lead to the practice of dealing with others in the spirit of mercy and love. Although, as Levine acknowledges, the healing process is slow, opening the pain-filled heart can lead to the unfolding of a new life. Agent, Loretta Barrett Books. (Feb.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

STEPHEN LEVINE's many best-selling books include A Gradual Awakening and Who Dies? His renowned work in grief counseling has been featured in television programs on PBS and CNN, in radio segments, and in magazine articles. He lives in Chamisal, New Mexico.