Violet by Design

I was going to get out of the modeling business for good.

But now I'm having trouble sticking with my decision. After all, if it wasn't for modeling, I might still be the invisible wallflower. Hot guys like Paulo wouldn't be interested in me. And I'd never have seen Brazil or Spain-and now France! On the other hand...

I also wouldn't have to choose between my best friend from home and my agent's shrill demands. Or anguish over my body the way only runway models do. Not to mention all this trouble I'm getting into for speaking out in the press about eating disorders.

Maybe the life of an international model isn't for me. But if I quit for good, I might always wonder...What if?

I was going to get out of the modeling business for good.

But now I'm having trouble sticking with my decision. After all, if it wasn't for modeling, I might still be the invisible wallflower. Hot guys like Paulo wouldn't be interested in me. And I'd never have seen Brazil or Spain-and now France! On the other hand...

I also wouldn't have to choose between my best friend from home and my agent's shrill demands. Or anguish over my body the way only runway models do. Not to mention all this trouble I'm getting into for speaking out in the press about eating disorders.

Maybe the life of an international model isn't for me. But if I quit for good, I might always wonder...What if?

Melissa Walker is a writer who has worked as ELLEgirl's features editor and Seventeen Prom's editor. All in the name of journalism, she once spent twenty-four hours surrounded by male models and even attended an elite finishing school for girls in New Zealand—among other hardships. She grew up in Chapel Hill, North Carolina (Go, Heels!), but now she lives in Brooklyn and has to watch college basketball on television. Melissa has a BA in English from Vassar College. She likes to read—and watch television—a lot.