Fiction, Romance, Teen Fiction, Fiction Subjects

You Suck

Name: You Suck
Author: Christopher Moore
ISBN: 9780060590307

by Christopher Moore

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Overview

Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Synopsis

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, sixteen-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

The New York Times - Janet Maslin

You Suck is funny enough to reanimate Mr. Moore s fans, at least those who wondered about the last book s squirrel types. It s sure to appeal to anyone who shares the author s ideas of a fun-loving vampire s priorities.

About the Author, Christopher Moore

With a body of work that boasts some of the most outlandish plots and outrageous characters ever to make it onto the printed page, Christopher Moore is rapidly making a name for himself as the clown prince of contemporary fiction. It may be a dirty job, but Moore is more than up to the task.

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Editorials

From Barnes & Noble

When vampires fall in love, all hell breaks loose. That seems to be the message of You Suck: A Love Story by Stupidest Angel author Christopher Moore. Teenage bloodsuckers Tommy and Jody are carrying on a torrid romance (apparently, vampire sex is hot), but their magnetic attraction is threatened by a host of intruders. A motley crew of amateur vampire hunters is on the prowl, and the decrepit vampire who "turned" Jody is eager to get his fangs back in her again. Fortunately, with the help of a sympathetic goth girl, love and blood do eventually conquer all. Nocturnal entertainment.

Rocky Mountain News

"Fun, funny and just a little bit gross — what more could anyone ask? Grade: A"

People

“A vampire comedy that’s witty, bright and funny.”

USA Today

"A laugh-a-page novel that’s raunchy and irreverent."

Buffalo News

"Christopher Moore mines a comic gold mine, deftly skewering the conceits of the vampire genre with precision and wit."

People Magazine

"A vampire comedy that’s witty, bright and funny."

Janet Maslin

You Suck is funny enough to reanimate Mr. Moore’s fans, at least those who wondered about the last book’s squirrel types. It’s sure to appeal to anyone who shares the author’s ideas of a fun-loving vampire’s priorities.
— The New York Times

Publishers Weekly

Moore's latest (after 2006's A Dirty Job) is a cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love. Nineteen-year-old Tommy is a bewildered hipster recently relocated to San Francisco from Incontinence, Ind. His sarcastic redhead (and bloodsucking) girlfriend, Jody, brings him into the fold of the undead ("I wanted us to be together," she says). Tommy, understandably, has mixed feelings; vampirism has its perks (you can turn to mist, live forever and the sex is awesome), but sunlight is death and blood hunger makes you do some pretty foul things. Also, the duo is hunted by Elijah, the ancient vampire who "turned" Jody and wants her back, and a band of Safeway stock boys/amateur vampire hunters known as the Animals (with whom pre-dark side Tommy once rolled). With the assistance of their devoted minion, goth girl Abby Normal, whose hilarious diary entries form part of the narrative, Tommy and Jody evade their pursuers, feeding at night and conking out at dawn, all the while learning how vampirism complicates love. Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page. (Jan.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

A raunchy slapstick comedy of young vampires in love, Moore's sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends (1995) features Tommy and Jody trying to make an undeath for themselves after Jody kills her lover/food source, Tommy, and turns him into a vampire. They have a few problems-like finding a new food source (Chet the giant cat might not have been a good idea), recruiting minions to help them when the sun is up, and dealing with a homicidal elder vampire. There is also a blue-skinned mercenary Las Vegas prostitute, the drug-crazed band of stoners with whom Tommy used to work, the Emperor of San Francisco, and a tough-talking but hopelessly romantic and perky Goth girl named Abby Normal who sees the vampire Flood (19-year-old Tommy) as her Dark Master. Moore is in top form, and this reviewer laughed all the way through this page-turner. Enthusiastically recommended for all adult fiction collections. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 9/15/06.]-Ken St. Andre, Phoenix P.L. Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

The biology and ethics of vampirism are revealed with frat-house gusto in Moore's fitfully entertaining tenth novel, a sequel to his 1995 romp, Bloodsucking Fiends. We're back in San Francisco, where wannabe writer C. Thomas (Tommy) Flood has gone all the way, so to speak, with his gorgeous girlfriend Jody Stroud, and joined her among the undead. The novel records their encounters with others, including Tommy's fellow Safeway employees ("the Animals"), one of whom-born-again Clint-hopes to save Tommy from the cool new life the fledgling vampire enjoys (though Tommy does have issues with "the foul, dead, blood-drinking part"). There are also variously affable and/or threatening figures, such as the homeless Emperor of San Francisco (based on a real historical character), street person William and his "huge cat" Chet, new-in-town teens Jared White Wolf and Abby Normal, a hooker named Blue (who is, in fact, painted that very color) and, hovering ominously (often upside-down) in the background, Jody's mentor (i.e., the guy who bit her first), centuries-old Elijah Ben Sapir, who "had begun this adventure thinking himself the puppet-master, now he was all entangled in the strings." This is a novel that asks the question, "What's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?" Moore handles its goofier-than-thou plot adroitly, springing a droll half-surprise at The Very End. Still, it's basically a collection of straight lines and zingers. Moore's fans won't mind much, because Tommy is as engaging as he is clueless, and his willing "minion" Abby possesses a winning combination of cheerleader pizzazz and Goth-inflected Dark Side grunge. Think of a collaboration among Anne Rice, S.J. Perelmanand Pedro Almod-var. In other words, Moore in the usual vein (jugular, that is).