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Crimes - Fiction, Humorous Fiction
Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie — book cover

Agnes and the Hitman

by Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer
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Overview

Agnes Crandall’s problems are rolling to a boil. First, a dog-napper invades her kitchen, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a man climbs through her bedroom window to save her. “Shane” (no last name) may be Agnes’s hero, but he’s also a professional hitman—so he’s no stranger to trouble himself…

Between a rival who wants to take him out and an uncle who may have lost five million bucks in Agnes’s basement, Shane’s plate is plenty full. Soon Agnes and Shane are tangled up with the lowlifes after the money, a gang of Southern mob wedding guests, a dog named Rhett, and—most dangerous of all—each other.

Synopsis

When a fiery food writer meets a hitman with a heart of gold, all bets are off in this“wildly entertaining” (Seattle Times) novel from bestselling authors Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer.

IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT

Agnes Crandall’s problems are rolling to a boil. First, a dog-napper invades her kitchen, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a man climbs through her bedroom window to save her. “Shane” (no last name) may be Agnes’s hero, but he’s also a professional hitman—so he’s no stranger to trouble himself…

GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN

Between a rival who wants to take him out and an uncle who may have lost five million bucks in Agnes’s basement, Shane’s plate is plenty full. Soon Agnes and Shane are tangled up with the lowlifes after the money, a gang of Southern mob wedding guests, a dog named Rhett, and—most dangerous of all—each other.

Agnes and the Hitman is fabulous fun.” —Booklist (Starred review)

Publishers Weekly

Crusie and Mayer reteam (after Don't Look Down) on this goofball romantic confectionary that mixes together Cranky Agnes, a food writer and caterer, with Shane, a hit man with no last name. The plot is a little short on sense, but it's hard to complain when the duo keeps the ingredients coming at a fast pace. Agnes has staked everything she owns on the big Mafia wedding she's catering, and Shane has been sent to keep an eye on Agnes but winds up in love and in big trouble. Soon the two are involved in a dognapping and snooping in a basement hiding a murdered body and $5 million. Burr does a very good job as the women in the story (besides Agnes, there's also Brenda Fortunato, the widow of a top gangster who is hatching a dastardly plot to steal Agnes's treasured home). Unfortunately, Burr isn't as convincing with the male voices. Still, there's enough romance and comedy here to make it all diverting. Simultaneous release with the St. Martin's hardcover (Reviews, June 4). (Aug.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information

About the Author, Jennifer Crusie

The Rita-award-winning author of romantic romps that drive her fans wild, Jennifer Crusie is known for her witty, offbeat writing style that puts a sassy spin on the romance genre.

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Editorials

From the Publisher

“Agnes and the Hitman is fabulous fun.” —Booklist (Starred review)

“A comic caper and raucous romance...laugh-out-loud funny...a fun ride.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Wickedly funny.”—Cincinatti Enquirer

“A bubbly novel with amusing banter and…moments of poignancy.”—Publishers Weekly

Publishers Weekly

Crusie and Mayer reteam (after Don't Look Down) on this goofball romantic confectionary that mixes together Cranky Agnes, a food writer and caterer, with Shane, a hit man with no last name. The plot is a little short on sense, but it's hard to complain when the duo keeps the ingredients coming at a fast pace. Agnes has staked everything she owns on the big Mafia wedding she's catering, and Shane has been sent to keep an eye on Agnes but winds up in love and in big trouble. Soon the two are involved in a dognapping and snooping in a basement hiding a murdered body and $5 million. Burr does a very good job as the women in the story (besides Agnes, there's also Brenda Fortunato, the widow of a top gangster who is hatching a dastardly plot to steal Agnes's treasured home). Unfortunately, Burr isn't as convincing with the male voices. Still, there's enough romance and comedy here to make it all diverting. Simultaneous release with the St. Martin's hardcover (Reviews, June 4). (Aug.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information

Library Journal

"Cranky Agnes" Crandall is a food writer living in an antebellum mansion in a small Southern town. She and her fiancé, fellow foodie Tyler, bought the house from mob widow Brenda Fortunato with plans to use it as a venue for parties and weddings. Their first big event is the wedding of Maria Fortunato, Brenda's granddaughter. The week before the wedding, someone breaks into Agnes's house, falls down a flight of hidden steps to a basement Agnes knew nothing about, and dies. Shane and Carpenter, two tall, handsome hit men, show up to investigate. Who sent the intruder? Who sent Shane and Carpenter? Why does Brenda want to stop Maria's wedding? This complex plot of a sassy romance rolls merrily along, and each time it seems that Maria's wedding is headed in one direction, the plans turn in another. Narrator Sandra Burr conveys Southern and Jersey-mobster accents and the echoing interior admonishment of Agnes's psychiatrist with great skill. This second merger by authors Crusie and Mayer, published in summer 20007, is lots of fun for fans of chick lit.
—Nann Blaine Hilyard

Kirkus Reviews

Crusie and Mayer team up again (Don't Look Down, 2006) in a comic caper and raucous romance. Agnes is a quirky, teetering-on-the-edge-of-insanity chef with a hit cookbook and a penchant for whacking ex-fiancees with frying pans. Shane is a handsome hitman with a shady past. When Agnes is attacked after moving into her dream house in the small southern town of Keyes, S.C., Shane's Uncle Joey, a mobster with a soft spot for Agnes, sends his nephew to protect her. Shane, having just botched a big job, is questioning his future as a professional killer. When he meets Agnes, her home cooking and voluptuous curves quickly dissolve his tough exterior. Within a nanosecond, the two fall for each other, a coupling about as realistic as the rest of the plot, but forgivable as it makes up in entertainment value what it lacks in plausibility. Bedding a hitman, unraveling the mystery surrounding her house and fending off assassins are only some of Agnes's concerns. She is also hosting her best friend's daughter's wedding at the end of the week, an occasion the grandmother of the bride continually tries to sabotage with, among other creative and psychotic episodes, a delivery of pink flamingos on Agnes's lawn. But our heroine forges ahead, becoming extra-determined to pull it all off when she learns she will lose her dream house if the wedding doesn't happen. The cast of local characters makes for a colorful, albeit cliched, ensemble: Sexy older women, backcountry hicks, an emotional bodyguard and a mobster-in-disguise are added to the mix, though readers may get lost in the mish-mash of names and whodunits as the complicated mafia history unwinds. Despite the movie-like shoot-outs, cheesycops-and-robbers banter and borderline-painful pillow talk, this is more farce than melodrama. Still, certain scenes are laugh-out-loud funny, and while Shane falls flat, crazy Agnes is a feisty, likable character worth rooting for. Lots of sugar and little substance, but a fun ride nonetheless. First printing of 150,000. Agent: Meg Rusoff/Jane Rotrosen Agency LLC

Book Details

Published
August 1, 2008
Publisher
St. Martin's Press
Pages
432
Format
Mass Market Paperback
ISBN
9780312363055

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