Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving

With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear-lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn: how to have the courage to speak, act, and show up when we are anxious and afraid; how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate; how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace; how to manage fear and despair when things fall apart; how "positive thinking" helps - and harms; how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified.

No one signs up for anxiety, fear and shame, but we can't avoid them, either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hit, they may become our constant companions.

With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear-lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn: how to have the courage to speak, act, and show up when we are anxious and afraid; how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate; how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace; how to manage fear and despair when things fall apart; how "positive thinking" helps - and harms; how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified.

No one signs up for anxiety, fear and shame, but we can't avoid them, either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully and...

Library Journal

In these two programs listeners are encouraged to recognize that anger and fear invite the individual to practice self-care without blaming or shaming others. Yet, when in the grip of these emotions, people often react in ways that perpetuate the situations that first triggered them. Lerner explains how to recognize this behavior, evaluate consequences, and make changes if desired. In both books she stresses that solutions are found only when individuals focus on and make changes in themselves-not when they try to control or change others. In Dance of Anger, the author offers more solid examples of why women react with self-defeating behaviors when they are angry. In Fear, she describes how to recognize the differences among fear, anxiety, and shame but offers fewer specific strategies to deal with them. Lerner reads both works adequately, but she lacks the polish of a professional narrator. Dance of Anger is highly recommended for self-help collections; Fear is an optional purchase.-Kathleen Sullivan, Phoenix P.L. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.